This time around, we’re going to do a special “fitting room phone calls” edition! Most calls to the store are harmless and are transferred quickly and harmlessly, but sometimes it can be downright aggravating and/or hilarious. When I first started working on the sales floor and learning at an alarmingly fast pace, I thought the other associates were trying to scare me with their talk of prank calls. I mean, I remember as an awkward preteen gathering with my friends and prank calling. Honestly, I couldn’t do it without laughing; I’m a terrible liar! I became the observer that watched the experts make the calls.
But never in my life would I dream of prank calling a business! Maybe picking random numbers out of the phone book lost it’s appeal in the years after I outgrew that phase.
So here are a few of the prank calls I’ve experienced while taking calls at the fitting room! WARNING: The content in the calls oftentimes refer to the male anatomy, so read only if you are comfortable!
This call was actually the second time the boy had called. Just before this, he had asked if we sold turtles. I was still fairly new at this point and didn’t know how to handle it, so I just hung up on him. And because he called back, I have this story for you!
Little boy: (giggling) Um… do you sell rocks?
I hesitated for a second for two reasons: I was trying not to laugh at them because they must have thought their question was impeccably original and clever, and I was devising a response to catch them off guard.
Me: Yes, actually, we’ve got some decorative rocks over in crafts. Let me transfer you right over there.
They hung up mid-transfer.
Teen: Is there a male nearby that I can talk to?
Me: Well, I’m at the fitting room, and our male associate in men’s is helping a customer right now, but I can help you.
Teen: Well this is really awkward. You see, I’m in the men’s restroom right now… and… um…well my penis got caught in my zipper.
I couldn’t help it; I audibly laughed. Hard. I’d never heard that one before!
Teen: You think this is funny??
Me: Yes, I do. -click-
I immediately knew this one was a prank call by the giggling that lasted all throughout my “Thank you for calling Walmart. How may I direct your call?” He hesitated as if thrown off guard that I would interrupt his laughter.
Little boy (maybe twelve years old): Um… my left testicle is rolling down aisle six and I need help.
It was extremely hard not to laugh.
Me: …Well, you sound young enough, so you should be able to catch it. -click-
You get to see Walmart in a very raw and real way when you interact with the customers. Sometimes it’s utterly knee-slapping fun, and others are… less than enjoyable.
But thank you for joining me as a person of Walmart!