People prank call Walmart, believe it or not.

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How the table looked when I arrived vs. How it looked after I fixed it

This time around, we’re going to do a special “fitting room phone calls” edition! Most calls to the store are harmless and are transferred quickly and harmlessly, but sometimes it can be downright aggravating and/or hilarious. When I first started working on the sales floor and learning at an alarmingly fast pace, I thought the other associates were trying to scare me with their talk of prank calls. I mean, I remember as an awkward preteen gathering with my friends and prank calling. Honestly, I couldn’t do it without laughing; I’m a terrible liar! I became the observer that watched the experts make the calls.

But never in my life would I dream of prank calling a business! Maybe picking random numbers out of the phone book lost it’s appeal in the years after I outgrew that phase.

So here are a few of the prank calls I’ve experienced while taking calls at the fitting room! WARNING: The content in the calls oftentimes refer to the male anatomy, so read only if you are comfortable!

Call #1:

This call was actually the second time the boy had called. Just before this, he had asked if we sold turtles. I was still fairly new at this point and didn’t know how to handle it, so I just hung up on him. And because he called back, I have this story for you!

Little boy: (giggling) Um… do you sell rocks?

I hesitated for a second for two reasons: I was trying not to laugh at them because they must have thought their question was impeccably original and clever, and I was devising a response to catch them off guard.

Me: Yes, actually, we’ve got some decorative rocks over in crafts. Let me transfer you right over there.

They hung up mid-transfer.

Call #2:

Teen: Is there a male nearby that I can talk to?

Me: Well, I’m at the fitting room, and our male associate in men’s is helping a customer right now, but I can help you.

Teen: Well this is really awkward. You see, I’m in the men’s restroom right now… and… um…well my penis got caught in my zipper.

I couldn’t help it; I audibly laughed. Hard. I’d never heard that one before!

Teen: You think this is funny??

Me: Yes, I do. -click-

Call #3:

I immediately knew this one was a prank call by the giggling that lasted all throughout my “Thank you for calling Walmart. How may I direct your call?” He hesitated as if thrown off guard that I would interrupt his laughter.

Little boy (maybe twelve years old): Um… my left testicle is rolling down aisle six and I need help.

It was extremely hard not to laugh.

Me: …Well, you sound young enough, so you should be able to catch it. -click-

 

You get to see Walmart in a very raw and real way when you interact with the customers. Sometimes it’s utterly knee-slapping fun, and others are… less than enjoyable.

But thank you for joining me as a person of Walmart!

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